Elf in a Bottle
by eXiLe
Summary: Legolas is sentenced to be a Genie-Elf... to serve fan girls for the rest of his life!... OH NO!! Rating for language... Chapter 3&4 are up! PLEASE R&R!!
1. Default Chapter

**Hey this is just some random short story I wrote in algebra. Please R&R for another chapter…no flames please.**  
  
  
  
Chapter 1  
  
  
  
"NO! NO! I'll be a good elf! I promise! Just don't put me in there! I'll do anything!" Legolas cried. He was kneeling down in front of the dark Lord Saruman.  
  
"Anything, eh? Will you finally take me up on my offer?" Saruman asked with seductive look in his eyes.  
  
"Uh… no. ANYTHING, except that!" Legolas wailed again.  
  
"Well in that case… no, you're still going in." Saruman told him.  
  
"Nooo!"  
  
Legolas pleaded with the dark Lord over and over again. Trying to get out of going in. He would be going into the worst place imaginable… the 'Fangirl Coliseum' ::dun dun dun:: (~~ scary/evil music).  
  
It was an evil place for anyone of the fangirl obsessions to be. Anyone who entered the arena, always came out a changed man, they were traumatized and always scarred for life. They lived out the rest of their lives brain dead, drooling and mumbling incoherently to themselves.  
  
No one knew what happened once they were inside… and now Legolas stood in a line of men. The line that led into the arena… and he was 5th. He listened in horror as he heard the screams coming through the huge wooden door. In front of him was Justin Timberlake from the 'late' N sync. The human turned around to look at Legolas.  
  
"Hey man! Wassup? What you here fo'?" He asked in a wannabe ghetto voice.  
  
Legolas look at him confused. After running the words through his head a couple of times, he finally figured out what the human was asking him. "Well I do believe it's the same reason as you."  
  
"Ah man, daz kool. Woah, waz zup wit yo ears man?" He asked.  
  
"I am an elf, my ears are supposed to be like this." Legolas said as calmly as he could.  
  
"Ah! You one of them Santa's homees!" Exclaimed Justin, "Daz awezom!"  
  
Legolas glared at him, 2 seconds later he had one of his daggers at the human's throat. "I'm not one of Santa's fucking elves. I'm a elf from Mirkwood in Middle-Earth."  
  
"Ah ah ah! Chill man, geeze. Wait, youz say you from dat movie? I thought dat wazn't real man!" Justin said excitedly.  
  
Just then the doors were opened and the next in line was shoved in. Heath Ledger screamed in horror when he was dragged into the arena by rabid fangirls… now Legolas was 4th.  
  
"Saruman please. I don't want to go in there!" Legolas began pleading again.  
  
"Woah man. Youz from dat movie too!" He said pointing at Saruman.  
  
"Quite you incompetent human!" Saruman placed a silence spell on the annoying human. Then he turned to Legolas with a pleased look in his eye. "Now, where were we?"  
  
"You were just about to let me return to Middle-Earth and end this madness…" Legolas told him.  
  
"No I was not. Legolas you have to go in. You've been a danger to Middle- Earth for centuries. You were always attracting crazy fangirls in search of your love. They kept popping up everywhere! They ruined the whole balance of Middle-Earth by being there. Trust me when I say that I'm doing everyone a great big favor when I get rid of you!" Saruman told him.  
  
"No! Then exile me out of Middle-Earth. I don't care. Make me serve people on earth. Make me a slave or anything! Just not this!" Legolas pleaded once more.  
  
A thoughtful look crossed Saruman's face. "Hmm… being a slave wouldn't be such a bad idea…"  
  
"What? I was kidding…"  
  
"Come." Saruman said. He dragged Legolas away from the Coliseum and took him to a grocery store. He bought a bottle of Budweiser beer. He handed it to Legolas and ordered him to drink it down.  
  
Legolas grabbed the beer and drank it down in 5 huge gulps. The fangirls always starved their victims so they were weaker, so Legolas hadn't had anything to eat or drink in over a week.  
  
Once the beer was gone, Saruman grabbed the bottle and advanced on Legolas. "A slave you will be… the elf in the bottle! A genie for the female population. THEIR SLAVE!"  
  
"NOOOOO!" Legolas screamed. He saw Saruman mutter a spell of some sort and Legolas could feel his body shrinking. His voice became tiny and squeakier as he got smaller. Pretty soon, he was only an inch tall. Saruman picked up the tiny Legolas, who was running around the store floor like a maniac. His tiny voice screamed out at him, "You fucking prick! You made me too damn small. Damn you!!! Damn you!! (A/N: Sorry Tiffany) I'm a fucking peanut!"  
  
"Muahahah!" Saruman laughed. "You are now to be a Genie-Elf. You will grant 3 wishes to any female you meet. You cannot grant any males wishes, only females."  
  
Legolas started to cry. "Why? This is worse than facing the fucking fangirls in the Fangirl Coliseum ::dun dun dun::"  
  
"LIVE WITH IT! FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!" Saruman bellowed.  
  
"Eww…" Legolas winced and almost heaved when Sarumans breath blew in his face. "You need a Tic-Tac." He said, he reached into his tunic and brought out a tiny Tic-Tac container. He placed a microscopic Tic-Tac in the palm of the dark Lords hand. "There you go."  
  
"Mmmm… thank you."  
  
"No problem."  
  
"Now, into the bottle you go." Saruman said sweetly. He dropped the tiny Legolas into the beer bottle.  
  
"Nooo!" Legolas screamed.  
  
Saruman placed a cork into the opening of the bottle and kicked it into another dimension…  
  
"STOP THE MADNESS!" Legolas screamed as he sailed through the air.  
  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Review for another chapter… PLEASE R&R! 


	2. The First Wish Maker

**Thank you all for reviewing! Please do so more!! Sorry if I'm kinda lousy in updating, but I will get better, I'm writing as much as I can during biology, homeroom, study hall, algebra, art, and English… so yeah… every one of my classes! ALSO! I do not own Legolas or Saruman or Nadra. Nadra owns herself! Thanks for your wishes! ::hehe:: PLEASE R&R!!**  
  
Just a question, does anyone know how to make italics work on fanfic? Because I got italics in here but it never shows up… if anyone knows how to do it, please email me and tell me! Thanks!  
  
Chapter 2  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Twas a millennia that has past, and a small beer bottle was lying somewhere on earth. No one had picked up the bottle in over 672 years. And inside a tiny elf was waiting…  
  
"5,236,379 bottles of beer on the wall," sang the elf, "5,236,379 bottles of beeer! Le-go-las, shoots one down… 5,236,378 bottles of beer on the wall…"  
  
And that's pretty much how life went for the little elf. He had started singing that song when he had 100,000,000 bottles of beer. And he was exceptionally proud that he was almost done.  
  
"5,236,278 bottles of beeeer! Le-go-las, shoots one down… 5,236,277 bottles of beer on the wall…"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
And so it continued, for longer than the elf expected…  
  
"323 bottles of beer on the wall. 323 bottles of beeeeer! Le-go-las, shoots one down… 322 bottles of beer on the wall. 322 bottles of beer on the wall. 322 bottles of beeer! Le-go-las, blows up the world… no bottles of fucking beer anymore!" He sang triumphantly. "HAHA! I have defeated the beer song!!!"  
  
As you can tell, our little elf friend has gone mad. He is now a Crazy- Genie-Elf… and that is not a good combination.  
  
It was now the year 2002, and it was March the 13th. Legolas had been sitting in his beer bottle for well over a thousand years now. He had been shifted all around the world, seeing many things. Now, he was sitting in some unknown country to him, in the middle of the street in traffic.  
  
Legolas had just finished singing the bottle song, when a large truck flew by his bottle. He screamed as the bottle was flung into the curb. He started sobbing hysterically and was beginning to think that facing the fangirls in the FanGirl Coliseum ::dundundun:: would be better than this torture.  
  
All of a sudden, he heard humming coming from down the street. His eyes perked up and he silently wished that person would pick him up and wish something.  
  
He yelped when his bottle was roughly grabbed, then screamed as the bottle fell back to the earth.  
  
"What the hell?" the girl exclaimed when she heard the scream come from inside the bottle. She picked up the bottle again and peered inside to see a little person huddled against the back of the bottle. "What are you?"  
  
"I am a Genie-Elf. I-I-I-I'm here to serve you. What is your name my lady?" the elf sputtered out.  
  
"My name is Nadra." The stranger said. "What's yours?" She tipped the bottle over and the little blonde elf fell into her hand.  
  
"Oof!" Legolas grunted when he landed face first in her palm. He straightened himself and held his head up high, "My name is… Legolas Greenleaf."  
  
Nadra stared at him then burst out laughing. "Suuure. You've seen Lord of the Rings too many times."  
  
"But I am. Can't you see the hair?" Legolas protested.  
  
"OK, yeah, sure, sure," Nadra said while laughing still.  
  
"So… do you want your wishes now?" Legolas asked.  
  
"Hmmm… sure. My first wish is… I want to see you in a white shirt and black leather pants." Nadra said happily.  
  
"Uh…" Legolas looked around, he didn't know what to do. Saruman didn't tell him anything about HOW to grant the wishes. "Mmk… your… wish… is my… command… I guess." He snapped his fingers enthusiastically to make it look like he knew what he was doing. And automatically he grew to full size and had a wet, white, silk, unbuttoned shirt on over black leather pants. He was also holding a whip.  
  
Nadra glanced at the whip in his hand and raised an eyebrow, he quickly flung it away and smiled sheepishly.  
  
"Wow," she said as she gawked at his all too perfect body.  
  
He stiffened and flexed his muscles, "Do you like what you see?"  
  
She nodded enthusiastically, "Can I have my second wish now?"  
  
He smiled and motioned for her to continue.  
  
She roughly grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him close to her, "I wish you would kiss me."  
  
"Mmk," he said happily before he claimed her lips for his own.  
  
She moaned against the lips of the blonde Elven archer as they kissed passionately.  
  
Ten minutes later, they separated, and were left breathless.  
  
"Wow," the Elven prince said, "that was the best kiss I've ever had."  
  
"Oh my God! Yes it was!" Nadra agreed.  
  
"Are you ready for your next wish now my lady?" He asked.  
  
"Yes…" She thought about it for a couple of seconds. "Sing to me."  
  
"What would you like me to sing?" Legolas asked sweetly.  
  
"Iris… by Goo Goo Dolls… I totally swoon over that song!"  
  
Legolas smiled, he had remembered learning this song when he heard it from a car radio one day while he was in his bottle. He started singing softly.  
  
"And I'd give up forever to touch you  
  
Cause I know that you fell me somehow.  
  
You're the closest to heaven that i'll ever be  
  
And I don't want to go home right now.  
  
And all I can taste is this moment.  
  
And all I can breath is your life  
  
And sooner or later it's over  
  
I just don't want to miss you tonight.  
  
And I don't want the world to see me  
  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand.  
  
Where everything's made to be broken  
  
I just want you to know who I am.  
  
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming.  
  
Or the moment of truth in your lies.  
  
When everything feels like the movies  
  
And you bleed just to know you're alive.  
  
And I don't want the world to see me  
  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand.  
  
Where everything's made to be broken  
  
I just want you to know who I am."  
  
He let the last world trail off, as he finished singing.  
  
Nadra smiled, "That was beautiful. Thank you."  
  
"Your wish is my command my lady," He said smiling, as he kissed the back of her hand.  
  
She sighed, "Does this mean that it's the end of my time with you?" She asked sadly.  
  
"Yes, I'm sorry." Legolas said, "Good bye."  
  
"Good b-"  
  
She was cut off when Legolas was magically changed back into his regular clothes and was sucked back down into his bottle.  
  
Legolas screamed as the bottle flew into the air and cut over the city. He was off to find his next wish maker… and soon he fell asleep.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
5 hours later…  
  
Legolas woke up suddenly when he felt his bottle plummeting downwards at extraordinary speed.  
  
He winced and readied himself for the impact of the earth underneath him. But was surprised when he landed in water instead. He looked around him.  
  
"Oh shit…" he moaned.  
  
To be continued…  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
AHH! ::slaps face:: You wrote a damn cliffhanger again!!! ::hehe:: Sorry. Please R&R for another chapter… no flames please. :) ** 


	3. Second Wish Maker

**Hey everyone. Thank you all for reviewing! Just a reminder, if you would like to be in the story, email me and tell me your wishes, don't forget to add a description of what you want to happen and your name would be useful too… ( Thanks! PLEASE R&R!**  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 3… finally ::hehe::  
  
  
  
Legolas sat in his bottle and pondered about how he was going to get out of this horrible situation. He was floating in the middle of a large ocean, and he didn't know what to do. His only hope was if he drifted to shore or got picked up by a-  
  
"Woah!" Legolas screamed as he felt his bottle being lifted. He looked around at his surroundings and saw that he was caught in a fishing net. He was too preoccupied with his thoughts that he didn't realize that he was even caught in the net. He winced and scrunched up his nose as he smelled the fish around him… "eww…"  
  
"'ey lookie 'ere! Ah found a bottl'!" Legolas heard a strong voice call from above. He was thrown across the bottle as a hand roughly grabbed the top of the bottle and pulled off the top.  
  
Legolas winced as a huge bloodshot eyeball peered in through the opening. "H-h-h-hello."  
  
"'ere's a littl' man 'nside!" The fisherman exclaimed with an accent unknown to Legolas. The figure tipped over the bottle and dropped the little elf into his palm.  
  
Little Legolas stood up on the mans hand and looked him sternly in the eyes. "Take me to land."  
  
The fisherman's friend came over to see what the excitement was. He was surprised to see a very pretty woman standing in his friend's hand with her hands on her hips.  
  
"Oh. 'at's a perty woman." He said, his eyes filled with lust.  
  
Legolas fumed at being called a woman, "Look here. I'm not a woman… I'm a MALE elf! A Genie-Elf to be exact!"  
  
"A Genie! You can grant wishes?" The original fisherman exclaimed.  
  
"Yes, but only to females." Legolas said, and turned away from their groping eyes.  
  
"Aww… I was going to wish for a new puppy." The grubby guy pouted.  
  
Legolas then heard a rumble and a small spark rippled through his body. It shocked all three of them when a brand new puppy appeared on the deck of the small boat.  
  
Legolas and the fisherman's friend looked in shock at the wish maker.  
  
"Oh shit," he (she) mumbled.  
  
"Man… I never knew." His friend mumbled.  
  
"Ew! Get me off of your hand!" Legolas cried as he jumped off of the fisherman's hand and onto the deck.  
  
"'ey! Don't let 'im git away!" The man yelled.  
  
Legolas ran as fast as his little legs could carry him, he closed his eyes and wished to be back in his bottle and on land safely. *POP* ::cheesy sound effects, sorry::  
  
He found himself sitting in the middle of a room… still in his bottle of course. He watched the people as they walked around the room in a hurry. He wasn't sure what they were all doing, so he eyed them all carefully.  
  
A girl walked past and stooped down to pick up the bottle. She shoved it into a large blue bag that had the word "Recycle" on the side of it.  
  
"Hey," Legolas squeaked from inside the bag.  
  
The girl stopped and reached into the bag. She looked around for the source of the noise, she thought she had picked up a mouse on accident or something. She was surprised when a little blonde head popped out of the opening of a bottle and wave his tiny fist at her.  
  
"What's the big idea?! Can't you tell that there is a little elf in here?!" Legolas exclaimed.  
  
"Oh my God." She said. "I'm so sorry."  
  
"It's okay," Legolas took a deep breath, "so, what are your wishes?"  
  
"My what?!" She stammered.  
  
Legolas crawled out of the bottle and sat on top of it. He gestured for her to pick him up and set him on the ground. As soon as he was safely on the ground, he did a little shimmy and popped up to regular size, in nice modern clothing.  
  
"Ah," he said, "let's take a walk."  
  
"Who are you?" The girl asked.  
  
Legolas stopped and held out his hand, "Legolas Greenleaf is my name. It's a pleasure to meet you….?"  
  
"Ashley." The girl said.  
  
"Ashley.." Legolas said, testing out the name.  
  
She then stopped and gave Legolas the strangest look, "Wait… Legolas Greenleaf?"  
  
"The one and only." Legolas said, giving a cocky smile and puffing out his chest.  
  
"Wow…" Ashley murmured.  
  
"So, what are your wishes?" Legolas asked again.  
  
"Since when do you grant wishes?" She asked.  
  
Legolas began to explain…  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Couple minutes later…  
  
"Ok, I understand now," Ashley said, then she thought for a second. A smile began forming on her lips as she thought of her first wish, "Sing 'I'm Too Sexy'…"  
  
Legolas choked, "Here?!"  
  
"Well, my other wish was to have a personal tour of Mirkwood by a certain Prince… So you could do it there, in your natural surroundings." She said.  
  
"Sounds better than here," Legolas said. He closed eyes and did his wish 'thing' and soon they were standing in the middle of a crowded street in Mirkwood. They were both dressed for the occasion, so they didn't have to worry about elves around them being suspicious.  
  
"Oh my God…" Ashley exclaimed as she glanced around her at the beautiful city.  
  
Legolas grabbed her arms and positioned her in front of him, then he let go. He cleared his throat loudly to get the attention of everyone on the streets. He turned to look at the elves on the streets. "I shall now serenade this lady!" He screamed. Then he turned back to Ashley and began to sing.  
  
"I'm………" He dragged it out to get the attention of ALL the elves. They all leaned in to hear what he was going to sing, "Too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love, love's going to leaaaave…"  
  
All the elves in the marketplace gasped as the words poured out of Legolas' mouth. Never in all their lives had they heard such words come from an elf of high stature like himself. Mothers covered the little elves ears and rushed them away, younger elf maidens stared with big eyes at the dancing and singing elf.  
  
Legolas began prancing around as he blared out the words to the song. "I'm too sexy for my shirt, so sexy, yeah it hurts…." He sang as he grabbed the trunk of a thin tree and began swinging around it.  
  
"Take it off!" An elf screamed from somewhere in the crowd.  
  
"Take it ALL off!" Another one yelled.  
  
Ashley turned around and gave them all dirty looks, "HEY!"  
  
Legolas smiled as he began unbuttoning his shirt slowly. A couple of screams could be heard from the crowd, and Ashley stared with huge eyes, not believing that it would be this good.  
  
As soon as he finished the song, he jumped down from the tree that he managed to climb up as he sang, then buttoned his shirt back up. "Ok, next wish?" He smiled.  
  
Ashley stared at him with her mouth open for a couple of seconds before composing herself, "Um… teach me archery… with your OWN bow and arrows."  
  
"Uh…" Legolas seemed a little uneasy with the idea of a mortal playing with the bow that Galadriel gave him in Lothlòrien… but he soon decided against his uneasiness and agreed to teach her.  
  
… on the archery course…  
  
"Ok… now aim a little to the left… no… too far… there, perfect. Now let the arrow go." Legolas guided her carefully through the steps.  
  
Ashley let the arrow loose and watched it hit the target right in the middle. "Bulls eye." She muttered to herself. "Wow, thank you… that was easier than I thought." She pulled out another arrow and let that one fly as well, it landed perfectly in the middle, right next to her other one.  
  
"Well… when you have the best teacher, I guess easiness is the only way to go." Legolas said smirking.  
  
"Can I have my last wish now?" Ashley asked, leaning on the bow.  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Dinner… in your favorite nature spot," she said grinning.  
  
Legolas smiled and nodded, "As you wish my Lady."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A couple of seconds later… they were seated in a dimly lit clearing. It was grassy, with a little waterfall falling quietly to the side of them, it ran into a peaceful stream that flowed right beside them.  
  
"Geeze," gasped Ashley, "this place is beautiful."  
  
"Yes, this is my favorite spot in all of Mirkwood. My father and I found this place a couple hundred years ago." Legolas said. He was lost in thought for a couple of minutes, and he didn't realize when Ashley was talking to him. "Oh, I'm sorry. What did you say?"  
  
"I asked you what are we going to have." Ashley replied.  
  
"Oh, I was thinking that we could have some nice Lembas ( in the form of Milano cookies), and some lemon pepper fish… specialty of Mirkwood." Legolas said smiling.  
  
All of a sudden, two large plates appeared before them, with huge amounts of food piled on them. They both sniffed in the delicious scent of the fish and Lembas.  
  
… couple hours later…  
  
Legolas fell back on the grass laughing, "You have got to be kidding me! Haldir would never do that!" Legolas gasped between fits of laugher.  
  
Ashley joined along with him, "I know, but he did! They didn't blindfold him… they didn't even seem threatened by him!"  
  
Legolas calmed himself down and took a deep shaky breath, but still managed a couple of giggles, "That's so odd… it's not how it happened at all… poor Gimli."  
  
"Yeah…" Ashley trailed off. "I'm sorry for ending this so soon. But I think I should be getting back to earth now." She laughed.  
  
"Yes," Legolas agreed.  
  
They stood up and Legolas teleported them back to earth before they said their farewells.  
  
When she was officially gone, Legolas went back to Middle-Earth and sat in the grassy clearing by himself. All of a sudden, he was sucked into a large whirlwind and was flung through the air at remarkable speeds…  
  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Where did he go? LoL, I already know, and I have the other chapter already written out. Sorry I had to end this chapter soon, but I gots shitload of homework and I really wanted to get this posted tonight! PLEASE R&R!!!! 


	4. A rather annoying chapter...

**Hey, ::pants:: I wanted to get this next chapter out ASAP… and I did a good job of it too ( Sorry if it's kinda weird, I wrote the whole thing in algebra… I guess you can kinda tell how exciting my algebra classes are! LoL!! Please R&R!**  
  
  
  
Chapter 4  
  
  
  
"Ahhhhhhh!" Legolas screamed as he landed face first in a pile of dirt. He heard a snicker come from above him, he looked up to see who it was. He wasn't exactly surprised to see Saruman standing above him.  
  
"Why are you back here in Middle-Earth?" Saruman demanded.  
  
"I was just fulfilling a girl's wish!" Legolas answered calmly. He stood up and brushed off the dirt that clung to his tunic and leggings.  
  
Saruman watched the elf brush himself off before continuing, "There's a new rule Legolas."  
  
Legolas groaned and stamped his foot into the ground in a completely childish manner, "Whhhhy?! What is it now?"  
  
Saruman rolled his eyes at the elf's behavior, "Just listen to me elf. The new rule is that every wish that you grant for a girl has to be completely granted by 11:00 pm the day the girl makes the wish, no one wish can go for longer than that."  
  
Legolas looked at him blankly, "… I don't own a watch."  
  
Saruman squinted his eyes and looked into the starry sky, "Ok, then make sure that you're done by the time that the moon is riiiiight…" Saruman peered into the sky before pointing out his finger, "THERE!"  
  
"Right there?" Legolas asked.  
  
"Yes. Right there."  
  
"But right there in that specific spot?" Legolas asked skeptically.  
  
"Yes, there."  
  
"But, right THERE?!" Legolas asked, pointing in the sky.  
  
"NO… right there!" Saruman pointed.  
  
"That's where I'm pointing!" Legolas exclaimed.  
  
"No, you're not! You're pointing there while I'm pointing here!" Saruman yelled.  
  
"So then right here, not there."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"You just said there!"  
  
"No, I didn't, I said here!"  
  
"No! I'm pointing here, and you're pointing here too! Not there… but here!" Legolas screamed back.  
  
"You're saying that you're pointing here, but you're not, you're really pointing there, not here. You can't point anywhere,… it has to be here!" Saruman pointed out. (PUN!)  
  
"I am pointing here!"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"No!"  
  
Legolas walked over to Saruman and looked at where he was pointing. "Oh… there?"  
  
"No, here!"  
  
"So why not there?"  
  
"Because it's here."  
  
"But why?"  
  
"I DON'T KNOW!"  
  
"So it can't be a little to the left or right?" Legolas asked.  
  
"NO!"  
  
"But why not?!"  
  
"I don't know… ask the author!" Saruman said. DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN!  
  
Legolas looked up into the sky, "Hey… eXiLe… Why is it here, not there?"  
  
"Because it just is! Who cares! Just shut up and don't ask anymore questions. You guys are seriously getting annoying with all your heres and theres!" eXiLe's voice echoed throughout the forest. (A/N: uh yeah…that would be me ::waves:: hello!)  
  
Saruman screeched like a little girl and hid behind a pebble, "That's a little intimidating," He whispered.  
  
"I'll say…" Legolas agreed.  
  
Saruman cleared his throat and said, "Ok, now we got that done with. Now… you pathetic excuse for a Genie-Elf… go do your job!"  
  
"You bastard guy! You shut up you!" Legolas said with the 'Kerpal' accent.  
  
"Me?" Saruman asked.  
  
"Yes, you."  
  
"You?"  
  
"No! Not me, you!"  
  
"Me."  
  
"Yes. You!"  
  
"You?"  
  
"YOU!"  
  
"So… me?"  
  
"YES YOU!"  
  
"You… again?"  
  
"Argh…" Legolas moaned and fell back onto the ground, "… YOU!"  
  
"You?" Saruman asked, completely confused now.  
  
eXiLe's voice is heard throughout the trees again, "SHUT UP! YOU PEOPLE ARE BORING THE READERS! SARUMAN… SHUT UP ALREADY! YOU TOO LEGOLAS! Geeze…."  
  
"Ok…" Saruman said meekly. He stood up and looked up into the sky. "So… here?"  
  
Legolas sighed, "This had better be the end of the chapter…"  
  
eXiLe: AMEN!!!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
can you tell how horrible algebra is…? 


End file.
